Maybe it’s remembering the waistcoats. Maybe it’s believing opportunities were wasted.
Maybe it’s the beer cups being targeted at him. Maybe it’s the cups chucked in celebrations, spraying beer in the air.
Maybe it’s forgetting the 55 years without a final, rather than lasting the distance in tournaments twice again.
Maybe it is lamenting how it all ended, rather than forgetting where it all began.
Southgate quits latest: Frontrunners emerge for England job
Perspectives on Gareth Southgate’s England reign veer between short-sightednesses and short memories – sparked by short fuses of fans.
Think back to the baking night in Nice – 26 June 2016.
Recall the apparently easy Euros meeting with Iceland ending in perhaps English football’s most embarrassing tournament departures.
What is expected of an England manager?
Roy Hodgson complaining “I don’t know why I’m here” after being told to face the media in his last act as manager?
This was England’s nadir. But never far from sinking to a new low. Sam Allardyce’s appointment put the FA in farce.
Allardyce still holds a proud record as England’s only manager with a 100% winning record because of being ingloriously pushed out after one game for unguarded bar talk to undercover reporters.
“I was moving into a job where the profile was way beyond anything I’d had before,” Southgate said.
So Southgate’s mission – initially as interim coach – seemed more about preventing England being a laughing stock and a punchline than producing a trophy.
But England began punching above their standing if not their weight.
Expectation always morphs into entitlement with Three Lions – and Southgate raised them.
And that brings us to how it all ended.
Another European Championship final – more what ifs.
But he fulfilled a bigger mission, restoring the credibility of a team that became constant contenders.
The accidental manager handled football’s “Impossible Job” deftly – even calmingly ending Wayne Rooney’s captaincy and England career as Harry Kane assumed the armband.
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Above all, as Southgate reflected this week: “We wanted to rebuild confidence. We wanted the nation to fall back in love with the team.”
That certainly happened in 2018 – as an old Atomic Kitten song was reworked into “Southgate you’re the one” lyrics.
Southgate became an unlikely fashion symbol as his waistcoat was adopted across the nation.
Fans revelled in seeing their team finally win a penalty shootout.
And from the lows of not winning a game at the 2014 World Cup under Hodgson, a transformed squad were semi-finalists four years later in Moscow.
The mindset had changed. Frosty player-media relations thawed. Disenchanted supporters were believers again.
Southgate was the unifying figure the nation longed for during the tumult politically after the Brexit referendum.
“I know we can make people’s lives happier,” he once said. “It’s a wonderful privilege to be able to make a difference.”
But starting to creep into the discourse were questions about Southgate tactically.
Was he lacking the nous to adjust tactics in games?
Another oh-so-near – being unable to build on a winning position secured in the fifth minute against Croatia before collapsing and missing out on the 2018 World Cup final.
It would be held against him that his only first-team management job before one of the toughest in the land was overseeing Middlesbrough’s relegation from the Premier League in 2009.
But then doubters were won around again by taking England to the inaugural Nations League final four in 2019 and to the final of the Euros in 2021.
It was cathartic and euphoric for a country emerging from pandemic restrictions – with England even scoring two minutes into the Wembley final.
But rather than Southgate finding a way to blow Italy away, again a lead was surrendered in a big match.
Again they came oh-so-near as penalties returned to haunt England – just as they had done for Southgate missing a spot-kick in the 1996 semi-final defeat.
There was a need to console players and confront those on social media racially abusing the black players who missed penalties.
Campaigning against racial injustice was encouraged in the team.
“That inclusivity is really important for us because I think that is what modern England is,” Southgate said. “We know it hasn’t always been the case and there are historic reasons for that. But that level of tolerance and inclusion is what we have to be about moving forward.”
Players were liberated to use their platforms as activists.
Read more:
Southgate resignation statement in full
Southgate had to navigate the complexities around a World Cup in Qatar, backing away from lectures on human rights.
Football was the focus and they could have few complaints about the quarter-final defeat to France.
But it raised doubts about whether this was time for a clean break with Southgate taking a week to commit himself to staying on to the Euros.
And it was a decision resting with the manager, with the FA seemingly glad to stick with who they knew with a lack of obvious alternatives.
Doubts about how right that call was began to grow when England suffered the indignity of a first-ever relegation, albeit in the relatively new Nations League competition.
But given how much talent was available to Southgate for Euro 2024, this seemed a golden opportunity and why England were considered among the title favourites.
Kane was one of Europe’s most prolific scorers and led a squad featuring one of the most exciting young talents in the world – Jude Bellingham fresh from winning the Champions League and La Liga with Real Madrid. Also, throw into the mix Premier League player of the year Phil Foden.
Surely a squad – much changed from Qatar with fresh faces – that rivals should have feared?
The optimism proved misguided from the opening match, a sluggish 1-0 win over Serbia that set the tone for an underwhelming showing.
England were sluggish and never sparkling, back to being weighed down by the weight of the shirt and the pressures of playing for England.
Perhaps history will have fonder reflections of the Southgate era – with his consistency in tournaments underappreciated due to the failure to end the trophy drought.
His exit will raise questions about what is required of a national team manager – a motivator who can lead a group or a tactically flexible coach able to make bold in-game decisions.
What is certain is Southgate did transform the culture around the team.
The legacy of summers of beer-throwing fans being able to enjoy watching England again.
But, as ever, it is about coming oh so near.